Why am I doing this to myself? Why do I invest so much time and energy into pleasing someone who probably wouldn’t even recognize me? Why do I subject myself to that pain of realizing that the encounter I’d considered so meaningful was nothing but a short interlude.
I always have too high expectations; thinking that the other was experiencing the same rush of excitement at the sight of me as I did of him. I’m slowly giving up hope of ever forming a close bond or relationship with anyone. I only deceive myself over and over again, desperately clinging onto the faint hope that this time it will be different.
I’m tired of crying myself to sleep, of feeling unworthy and pathetic. Of feeling foolish for falling too quickly for someone and never having my feelings reciprocated.